Potentially blow up a 60 year friendship to protect the friend from slight neglect
Posted: Sunday, February 02, 2020 6:51:24 PM
First, the house is getting away from her. It's an old one room schoolhouse that she and her husband owned since 1990. They apparently refinanced some time. The mortgage is $450 a month which is cheaper than rent especially for three bedrooms. They heat with propane and wood. It is cold. He was a fireman and died in 2012. She is dealing with fractured disc(s).

We visited with her for a week. Her 40 year old son is there permanently but currently recovering from knee surgery. She raised her two granddaughters. The 22 year old works at a pizza place. The 15 year old is pregnant and living there with her 22 year old HVAC boyfriend. No one is paying rent.

I am not sure that she is eating enough. She is vegan. We saw toast and jelly, two bowls of soup, yogurt, ice cream, instant oatmeal, and several baked potatoes. Her 15 year old granddaughter made her Kraft mac and cheese once. She gets the rest of it. Her son does her laundry. She says they come in and talk to her some but she tried to get us to stay. The toilet needed work but nobody did too much. They do get her groceries when they go to the store.

The house may need a contractor to look at it. Say something and blow up the lives of soon-to-be six people, blow up a friendship, and maybe cost her the house with the cheap mortgage?????
Posted: Monday, February 03, 2020 10:09:15 AM
MarBethBoutique wrote:
First, the house is getting away from her. It's an old one room schoolhouse that she and her husband owned since 1990. They apparently refinanced some time. The mortgage is $450 a month which is cheaper than rent especially for three bedrooms. They heat with propane and wood. It is cold. He was a fireman and died in 2012. She is dealing with fractured disc(s).

We visited with her for a week. Her 40 year old son is there permanently but currently recovering from knee surgery. She raised her two granddaughters. The 22 year old works at a pizza place. The 15 year old is pregnant and living there with her 22 year old HVAC boyfriend. No one is paying rent.

I am not sure that she is eating enough. She is vegan. We saw toast and jelly, two bowls of soup, yogurt, ice cream, instant oatmeal, and several baked potatoes. Her 15 year old granddaughter made her Kraft mac and cheese once. She gets the rest of it. Her son does her laundry. She says they come in and talk to her some but she tried to get us to stay. The toilet needed work but nobody did too much. They do get her groceries when they go to the store.

The house may need a contractor to look at it. Say something and blow up the lives of soon-to-be six people, blow up a friendship, and maybe cost her the house with the cheap mortgage?????


Turn it over to Social Services. She is being taken advantage of. You should be able to report without giving your information. They will send a social worker out to investigate.
@MarBeth
edited to add:
My advice was given from a professional standpoint.
In a later post reply on Feb 4th, I said MarBeth,
I see that "you got this", so whatever you decide to do about your friend's issues, it will be the right thing. You have the knowledge base to make a good decision. Good on you for caring and having compassion.
Posted: Monday, February 03, 2020 10:15:48 PM
can you message me through my store?
Posted: Tuesday, February 04, 2020 10:51:05 AM
MarBethBoutique wrote:
can you message me through my store?

I see that "you got this", so whatever you decide to do about your friend's issues, it will be the right thing. You have the knowledge base to make a good decision. Smile Good on you for caring and having compassion.
@MarBeth:
See my earlier reply which I edited,and added info.
Posted: Tuesday, February 04, 2020 11:16:22 AM
Quote:
Say something and blow up the lives of soon-to-be six people, blow up a friendship, and maybe cost her the house with the cheap mortgage?????


if this was my friend, I would look into it more carefully before involving social services. perhaps visit again. maybe bring some fruits and veggies, healthy things that a vegan would eat. imho social services would be a last resort, as you said possibly disrupting the lives of 5+ people.
Posted: Tuesday, February 04, 2020 9:17:10 PM
She is the loser either way unless the social worker tries to improve the situation and not just put her in a better situation but as is, it can only really deteriorate for her. There are laws involved on the condition of the house since we don't know how bad it is, on the financial issues involving her, on her physical well being with so many others there, and on the 15 year old granddaughter and the boyfriend.
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