Broken Heart 2 pages: [1] 2
Posted: Sunday, January 20, 2019 6:50:51 PM

So, this guy I was dating dumped me for good today. I am really upset. I seriously feel like I never want to get into a relationship again. I know there are other men out there, but I just don't trust any of them. I am so glad that I have Zazzle, photography and my job to keep me busy.
Posted: Sunday, January 20, 2019 7:42:02 PM
I am sorry. It hurts. Give yourself time. You don't say how old you are but getting in a new relationship can mean adjusting your life. Some people as they get older are willing to do that and some aren't. Just don't completely isolate yourself. People of both sexes can be hurtful. Even friends you have had a long time but closing yourself down to everyone shortchanges you and shortchanges others of what you have to give from casual friendship to a one-on-one relationship.
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 6:50:12 AM
So sorry to hear that Marbles. I have had my heart broken before and although excruciating, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, ultimately. If I hadn’t gotten my heart broken, I wouldn’t have met and married my husband and definitely would have ended up with the wrong person. Fifteen years later and that first guy is still single, while I wake up to my awesome family every day. The universe has a plan for you. I hope, in the meantime that Zazzle is good to you while you wait for your dream guy Smile. Sending love and positivity Love Roses
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 8:43:43 AM
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. *Hugs*. Hopefully you can use your experience to make products and designs for people that will end up going through a similar experience as you in the future and that they will find helpful. (Ex. sorry for your breakup card, I'm here for you through your breakup card, etc.)

In short, hopefully you can make something positive come out of your experience.
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 9:46:59 AM
Thanks for the kind words, everyone. My heart is still feeling like there is a knife in it.
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 10:59:23 AM
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 11:06:33 AM
I don't blame you for not trusting men, but you shouldn't trust women either. Trust no one is my motto. I've been single for some time now and I'm here to tell you, it is very liberating.

Going by your twitter photos, if you decide the single life is not for you, I'm sure you will have no problem finding dates. You are very pretty.

I would suggest getting a dog. They are loyal, they don't try to control you and they are warm and cuddly. Cats not so much, but I have a cat now. She sometimes gets on my nerves, but I still love her, lol.
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 12:32:40 PM
I am praying that you find this to be a strengthening experience and as others have said, that later you look back and thank this guy for setting you free to go on to better things and I pray your heart heals fast!

If you pour yourself into your art and stop looking for Mr. Right, that is usually when they come along and find you.

Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 12:39:46 PM
MarblesPictures wrote:


Love it!!!!
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 12:45:40 PM
Jerry Lambert wrote:
Trust no one is my motto. I've been single for some time now and I'm here to tell you, it is very liberating.

I would suggest getting a dog. They are loyal, they don't try to control you and they are warm and cuddly.


+1 I am in the not rearranging my life for anyone group.


Don't listen to Jerry on cats. They are great too!!!!


Can't speak for Elizabeth.

Marilyn
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 1:10:50 PM
MarBethHolidays wrote:
Jerry Lambert wrote:
Trust no one is my motto. I've been single for some time now and I'm here to tell you, it is very liberating.

I would suggest getting a dog. They are loyal, they don't try to control you and they are warm and cuddly.


+1 I am in the not rearranging my life for anyone group.


Don't listen to Jerry on cats. They are great too!!!!


Can't speak for Elizabeth.

Marilyn


I hope your new found freedom brings you some peace of mind
I'm with Jerry: dogs make great companions but puppies are better :-)
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 2:11:22 PM
igiftcenter wrote:
I hope your new found freedom brings you some peace of mind
I'm with Jerry: dogs make great companions but puppies are better :-)


It was a decision that I made 20 years ago. I haven't shut off from people, so some people have still gotten close enough to be hurtful but as I said
Quote:
closing yourself down to everyone shortchanges you and shortchanges others of what you have to give from casual friendship to a one-on-one relationship.
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 4:34:30 PM
Thanks to everyone for your kind words. I feel hopeful, but it hurts like hell.
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 5:59:55 PM
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 6:45:26 PM
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 9:15:18 PM
So sorry you've been going through thisCrying . Been there, done that. Have been single for way too long now, but mostly I like it that way. Would like to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but I'm so picky now. At age 55 I feel like maybe I won't find anyone, but then again... Anyhow, I hope you start healing soon. It will take time.
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 9:25:35 PM
This is how I am feeling right now.
Posted: Tuesday, January 22, 2019 10:05:57 AM
Jerry Lambert wrote:
Trust no one is my motto.
. I would suggest getting a dog.

I agree with Jerry, get a smaller breed puppy
Puppys will steal your heart and won't dump you.

My lifetime moto is similar to Jerry's...
"I don't trust myself, much less anyone else!" Happy
Posted: Tuesday, January 22, 2019 10:15:39 AM
Well, if it makes anybody feel better, one of my mother in laws friends never married and is still loving live. Especially when she snowbirds to her condo in Florida! She also likes that she has no one to answer to.

As for cats being cuddly, I think it depends on the cat. I have a black and white one that loves to cuddle. My tabby, not so much.
Posted: Tuesday, January 22, 2019 12:02:46 PM
ValeriesGallery wrote:


As for cats being cuddly, I think it depends on the cat. I have a black and white one that loves to cuddle. My tabby, not so much.


I have cats that I raised with dogs and they think they are dogs they are cuddly and sweet but don't like strangers.
Posted: Tuesday, January 22, 2019 12:08:46 PM
ValeriesGallery wrote:

As for cats being cuddly, I think it depends on the cat. I have a black and white one that loves to cuddle. My tabby, not so much.


My Siamese isn't normally all that into cuddling. But on Sunday night the temperature dropped to below zero and when I woke up Monday morning she had crawled up under my blanket with me like my dog used to every night. She gives me kisses when she wants Temptations. But she runs and hides when the wind blows. lol

She is a sweet cat and I love her but if it came down to a bear attacking us she would totally save herself and leave me as meat whereas my 6 pound dog would have fought the bear to save me. Perhaps that just makes cats smarter. They do seem to live longer than dogs.

As for human relationships, they say that single people are happier and that they live longer. So, there's that.

Posted: Wednesday, January 23, 2019 8:21:37 AM
This is what I tell most people, because they rush, jump, and settle.

Now that you are apart, you can look back and realize all of the things that were actually wrong, or that you felt compromised on.

Now, picture your perfect man. Picture his house, his car, his job, his life situation. Got him? Good.

Now. Picture HIS perfect woman. Her house, car, job, life situation. Does that fit you? No? Ok, now you have your goal line. Become that person, so you can attract that person.

Confident, fun, independent enough to be able to be alone with themselves, and goal oriented. That's what we all want. We don't want needy, depressed, clingy, insecure.

It is fine to feel completely wrecked out after an ending. Just don't let that ending define you. Now is a time for YOU to REDEFINE yourself.

Single is FINE. Single has great value. I have a cousin that dates herself. She decides she wants to go out, so she gets dressed up and takes herself out. She goes to the movies, to shows, to bingo, to dinner, and she goes alone, and has a blast. Because she's fun to be around. And she's literally not there to impress anyone or anything. Because she's happy and content. She's also a knockout at 62. And while she has her PICK of anyone, she's more happy being alone.

But that is the key. Love yourself, first.

I wish you well, I've been wrecked a few times. Then I decided to straighten my life, embrace my single freedom, and LIVE my life, the way I wanted to, not the way I'd been fumbling around.

Men are really great. But, in all honesty, they are winging it as much as we are. And women don't help, a lot of them search for someone to take care of them, they don't set out to be a partner.

Learn to be happy with YOU, because YOU are the one that's going to be there at the end, for sure.

Love Love
Posted: Wednesday, January 23, 2019 9:58:52 AM
A friend and I once concluded that it might be better if married people lived next door to each other.
Posted: Thursday, January 24, 2019 9:48:52 AM
Colorwash wrote:
A friend and I once concluded that it might be better if married people lived next door to each other.


Laughing My husband jokes from time to time that we need separate tiny houses connected by hallways! I tell him that's what his workshop out back is for. lol

My twin sister is 45 and single and has never been married. She went out with a guy once that thought there must be something wrong with her because she had never been married. He had been married 3 times and had 2 baby mamas. She concluded he was a man child and made her escape quickly.

She owns her own home and fairly new car that are almost paid off so she is almost debt free, financially independent, and happy and super fun to be around. She has a niece and 2 nephews she loves like her own and spoils rotten and has tons of friends. Oh, and has a big yellow lab that I think she loves more than all of us!Laughing
She would welcome the right man into her life, but doesn't need it and that is a good place to be in.

You never know what life has in store for you so be the best you you can be and never need another person to define you.

Broken hearts hurt and they feel like they will never heal, but be strong and know there are better times coming.
Posted: Thursday, January 24, 2019 2:04:09 PM
After 22 years together, we have talked about his and hers homes also...

But he likes my cooking too much to really do it, and he doesn't want to do his own laundry. Laughing

Adding: One thing I have learned after two long marriages is that relationships require lot of give and take and sometimes it feels like you're the only one giving and they are only taking but the old idea of 50/50 is wrong.

It only works when it is 100/100.

I agree with Rgebbie about being happy with yourself, that makes a huge difference if and when you get into another relationship as to whether you are happy with someone else.

Posted: Thursday, January 24, 2019 2:18:57 PM
Thank you to everyone. I am at work right now and it is taking all my power not to break down and cry. You see I ruined that relationship with drinking! I am so upset with myself. You have all helped so much but my heart is still hurting so much I can barely take it.
Posted: Thursday, January 24, 2019 2:31:04 PM
MarblesPictures wrote:
Thank you to everyone. I am at work right now and it is taking all my power not to break down and cry. You see I ruined that relationship with drinking! I am so upset with myself. You have all helped so much but my heart is still hurting so much I can barely take it.


Awww. That's rough. Maybe think of it as a wake up call to really work on yourself if the drinking truly is a problem, and get into a really good place personally before you try to be part of a couple. (like several others have mentioned.)
Life can be tough and lessons can be hard learned so just take it as a growing experience and, if he really is the love of your life, over now doesn't mean forever.

And let yourself grieve the loss. It's a totally normal part of life. Just don't let it consume you.
Posted: Thursday, January 24, 2019 8:05:25 PM
MarblesPictures wrote:
You see I ruined that relationship with drinking!


in vino veritas. age quod agis.

translation: in wine lies the truth. do what you do.
Posted: Thursday, January 24, 2019 8:36:32 PM
MarblesPictures wrote:
Thank you to everyone. I am at work right now and it is taking all my power not to break down and cry. You see I ruined that relationship with drinking! I am so upset with myself. You have all helped so much but my heart is still hurting so much I can barely take it.


I hope you will forgive yourself and this sounds like a good opportunity to get that monkey off of your back. As a former addict I understand the bondage that it can be and it is hard but you can quit. I had to finally get so mad at my substance of choice that it was like a divorce. I left it and I am never coming back. Being free from it is really good! But don't quit for someone else, do it for yourself!

Posted: Thursday, January 24, 2019 8:37:36 PM
Aw Marbles...so sorry. Regardless of who left whom or who did what to harm a relationship, both parties are in pain. The love just doesn't stop, it takes time to fade. Your path is your decision. If you were meant to be together you would be. There may be a path back to this love, but that's up to you too. I hope you choose what's best for you.
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